Stronger Together: The Science of Women Supporting Women
- Linda Andersen
- Feb 27
- 6 min read
A single day at the Kananaskis Nordic Spa this past week with my BFF felt like the equivalent of a week on a tropical beach. The spa was fabulous, but it was accentuated by time spent with someone special. The kind of connection that restores your faith in humanity, with uplifting conversation about solving all of the world's problems. That time together melted away all of my anxieties faster than the warm pools, eucalyptus saunas and cold plunges.
Our conversation drifted effortlessly between our goals, fears, triumphs, failures, passions and pain. A couple of gals just getting real. Even the silence between conversations was comfortable.
We all need someone we can trust completely and be our authentic selves with, whether you're a goofball or a hardcore nerd. You're accepted. Time spent with your person - the one who truly gets you right to your core, the one who knows where the bodies are buried but keeps your secrets, the ride-or-die kind of friendship that endures for decades - is absolutely priceless.
Celebrating Sisterhood: The Power of Women's Relationships
Put two or more women in a room — or on a walking trail, or around a kitchen table with a bottle of wine — and within minutes the conversation does a 180 degree turn from polite updates to deeply personal sharing. We laugh. We vent. We confess. We solve our problems, and everyone else's, whether they asked for it or not. This might look like socializing, but it's so much more!
Neurochemicals associated with safety, bonding, and pleasure begin to flow. Stress hormones quiet down. Heart rates slow. Our nervous systems shift out of “survival mode” and into “Ahhhh, I can breathe again.”
In other words, that long chat with a trusted friend isn’t indulgent — it’s biological maintenance.
Science is now catching up to what women have intuitively known for centuries:
Close friendships between women are not just emotionally comforting; they are powerful protectors of brain health, resilience, and even longevity.
Think about how you feel after spending quality time with a close friend. Problems don’t always disappear, but they seem more manageable. Your mind feels clearer. Your shoulders drop away from your ears. You may even notice you’re breathing more deeply.
That’s not your imagination. That’s your brain responding to a flood of neurochemicals initiated by social interaction.
So in celebration of women — and especially in celebration of the friendships that sustain us — it’s worth asking:
What if those walks, laughter-filled coffee dates and heartfelt conversations are not luxuries at all?
What if they are some of the most powerful forms of brain care we have?
As it turns out, the science says exactly that.
The Brain Chemistry of Female Friendship
Why time with your best friend is basically a neurochemical spa day
Have you ever noticed how just sitting down with a close friend can make your whole body relax — sometimes before you’ve even said a word?
That shift isn’t just emotional. It’s chemical.
When women connect as trusted friends, the brain releases oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone”, which plays a crucial role in social attachment. This powerful neurochemical helps us feel safe, calm, and connected. It lowers stress responses, which in turn helps to increase trust and strengthen the sense that we’re not facing life alone. In other words, oxytocin tells the nervous system: You’re safe here.
And it doesn’t stop there. Friendly social interactions also boost dopamine and serotonin — brain chemicals linked to pleasure, mood stability, and emotional resilience. That’s why a good conversation with a close friend can leave you feeling lighter and more energized, even if you started out exhausted.
Meanwhile, levels of cortisol, the body’s main stress hormone, begin to drop. Heart rate slows. Muscles loosen. Breathing deepens.
In essence, meaningful friendship time moves the brain from “fight-or-flight” mode into “rest-and-restore.”
It’s a bit like hitting a biological reset button — except instead of pressing a switch, you simply share a laugh, a story, or a heartfelt “I know exactly how you feel” moment.
So the next time you find yourself lingering over coffee, talking far longer than you planned, you can rest assured:
🧠 You’re not just chatting. You’re giving your brain some very sophisticated care.
Think of it as 'neurochemical spa treatment'.
Women Benefit Especially Strongly From Friendships
Why female bonds are uniquely powerful
Have you ever noticed that when you're with one of your close girlfriends, you never just say "I’m fine" - you actually hold full emotional debrief sessions? Men typically don't do this. I know because I asked my husband, so it must be true. "Then how do you feel better?", I asked. He basically said "We slug each other in the shoulder and say 'Don't be a pussy' ", as if that somehow reaffirms their strength of will to overcome anything. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
But seriously, women traditionally have stronger ties to their girlfriends compared to male-male friendships. A large review of the benefits of female social ties found that this may be related to higher levels of oxytocin in females and the 'tend-and-befriend' strategy where women are likely to make cooperative decisions based on social situations.
The review provides evidence that women are more skilled than men at offering social support, and when they are feeling stress themselves, women still provide high-quality support to close friends, whereas the quality of support that men provide declines as their own stress levels increase.
I am by no means trying to say that men suck at social skills or providing social support, in fact, my husband is my rock; however, the studies covered in this review suggest that women in friendship networks may be - on average - more likely to provide higher quality support when needed, even when they're stressed themselves.
In other words, having a social support network can be an effective de-stressor. So maybe the next time you reach for a bottle of wine during a crisis, try calling a friend instead.
Think of it this way: girlfriends are your emergency Emotional First Responders.
They're also cheaper than anti-aging creams – and scientifically more effective.
Friendships, especially between women, are not a luxury — they are a lifeline, a longevity strategy, and one of the most powerful forms of preventive brain care we have.
Social Connection Benefits Everyone, Not Just Women
There is overwhelming evidence that social connection, whether between girlfriends or others, is healthy for the brain, and overall wellbeing. It's one of the pillars of brain health because social isolation is linked to cognitive decline and dementia risk. Social connection "can help people maintain a healthy body mass index, control blood sugars, improve cancer survival, decrease cardiovascular mortality, decrease depressive symptoms, mitigate post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, and improve overall mental health", according to a review on the power of social interactions.
While the bonds between women are uniquely powerful, the benefits of positive social connection are not exclusive to women. Decades of research show that strong relationships improve health and longevity for everyone — including men.
Large longitudinal studies have found that people with strong social ties have about a 50% higher likelihood of survival compared to those who are socially isolated and this is the same across the sexes.
In short, while women may be especially skilled at cultivating deep friendships, the human brain itself is profoundly social. Whether through sisterhood, brotherhood, or any meaningful connection, strong relationships are still one of the most powerful predictors of lifelong brain health, resilience, and wellbeing.
Practical Tips for “Brain-Healthy Girlfriend Time”
If you don't have a Tribe already, you need to go find one. Or more than one. Social groups with a common focus, like a book club, are a great way to bond.
If that's not possible, then a best friend or two will do.
I encourage you to make the time to connect with someone close to you. Regularly.
Here are some suggestions:
👱♀️ Bond deeply during a girl's getaway once a month.
☕ Get your oxytocin fix with a laughter-filled one-on-one coffee visit every week (no phones).
🧘♀️ Grab your BFF and calm your nervous system with regular yoga or mindfulness classes.
💃 Feel a happiness connection with a dance class.
Embrace whatever it is that gives you time with your Tribe or close friend. You owe it to your brain to prioritize your happiness.
Further Reading
This is a great opinion article:
Check out this book by Neuroscientist Ben Reid, PhD:
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